For years I searched for an understanding and explanation of why my son struggled so much to "live in his body". Numerous diagnoses and medication trials had not helped him. Things continued to spiral out of control over the years.
By age eight, Zach had become very violent, resulting in two hospitalizations in Cambridge, Massachusetts at the Child Assessment Unit and one partial hospitalization at Franciscan Hospital in Boston.
It was heartbreaking not to be able to help my child...
It was at this time that I truly began to feel depression and despair. I couldn't believe it had all come to this and that my eight year old child was in a Psychiatric unit in the hospital.
One night I went up into my room and completely lost it. I must have cried and sobbed for three hours. Everything that had happened over the last years poured out of me in a torrent of tears. I remembered that a Naturopath Doctor had once told me you have to ask for help from the universe in order to receive it. In that moment of deep despair, I asked for help from the depths of my heart and soul.
Two days later I received a call from a casual acquaintence asking me to come over for coffee so that our daughters could have a playdate. I was not in the mood to be around anyone, but she was persistant. Finally I agreed. As I was sitting with this woman in her living room, we started to talk about our lives and the subject of Zach came up. I reluctantly shared what was going on with her. All of a sudden she leaned forward and said "I don't know why but I knew I had to have you over here today". She then asked me if I was open-minded. I said yes with some trepidation. She then told me about an energy counselor who had helped her daughter with her nightmares and behaviors and that the child was now peaceful and calm and able to sleep at night. She said she was sure he could help us and gave me his telephone number to call.
For over a month I kept his phone number with me, skeptical and uncertain as to whether or not to call. Finally, I picked up the phone and called. This was the start of a new beginning and hope for my son.
A New Understanding of Zach
We learned that Zach was very sensitive to energies, his environment and to the thoughts and feelings of others.
Like many of these children who we believe are more energetically evolved, Zach and others are more sensitive to all of the fear and negativity in the world in ways that most people are not.
As a consequence, these children often struggle in their lives on a daily basis as dealing with these thoughts and energies on a mental level affects their ability to function on a physical level.
Here are some of the key things that I learned:
To stop seeing him as limited, but to see him as a gift to the world.
To recognize and appreciate all of the wonderful lessons we would learn from this journey.
- To stop worrying about him as worry as everytime I worried I bombarded him with negative thoughts.
- Shower him with loving thoughts at all times.
- Celebrate his rages instead of coming from a place of fear. Recognize that the rages were an opportunity to teach Zach to be in control.
- To use white light exercises (simply a loving energy) to shift our thoughts from negative to positive.
- To understand that when we turn on the light, there is no darkness.
- To see Zach as a brave, beautiful and courageous soul.
Most importantly of all, I learned to see this entire experience as a gift.
I learned that the only way to understand fear, anger and worry is to experience it. Once this experience is mastered, it gives us knowledge that we can share with others to better the world.